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Monday, December 17, 2012

The Real Reason...

For the past four days, I have sickened myself, not only following the tragic events in Newtown, CT, but the raging stupidity of the response to that.  Yes, we mourned for children of families we never met, or never will meet.  We also scrambled to our favorite talking points.  Those who were pro-gun now fear that President Obama will take away all their guns.  Those who ar anti-gun called for the President to...what else?...take away all our guns.  Some have said that this is God's judgement on a world that does not believe in him (of course no one says that when kids are gunned down in Comptin, CA or Bedford-Sty. NY....but that's another rant, all together). Atheists say this proves that there is no God anyway because He would not allow this to happen if He was in control (with the exception of Compton or Bedford-Sty.....sorry).

Some have blamed the lack of availablity of mental health care (bogus, because in America mental health care is basically "here's a bag of pills, knock yourself out...NEXT!" Ex.: Ms. L. Lohan...). Some have blamed the President.  Others have blamed right-wing talk radio.  Still others note that we're all going mad because of the latest impending-end-of-days Dec. 21 (which we'll all be bitching about the morning of Dec. 22.)....

Same shit, different mass atrocity.

Now for most of this weekend, I have spent enormous amounts of time trying to tell my Facebook and Twitter brethern, sistern, and transgendern that this problem goes deeper.  That we on the planet have a collective broken soul.  It is that, I believe, that must be healed.  And this goes beyond being born-again or finding whatever Higher Power you believe in.  It means that you have to take steps after that prayer to effect that healing.

But blaming (fill-in-theblank) is much easier than looking in the mirror and realizing that YOU are the problem and that the solution starts with YOU.

Obviously, I have lost my communications skills.

Thankfully, some else has not.

A bit of intrudction here is in order.

"Bond.Jane" was born in Portugal, and has lived the last decade in the UK.  We came together through our love and writing of Once Upon A Time fan fiction (A great sample of her work is "Atonment."  Give it a read, and, if you will, send it to the OUAT producers so they know exactly what direction the show should go......but I digress....).  The other day I wrote a Storybrook response to the tragedy, she said some kind things, and we started to discuss it.  What follows, with her permission, is her response to mine, and it spells out in beautiful detail what i have been trying to say.  I have left all typos and misspellings in.  When someone speaks from the heart, its best to present verbatim.

As for the the US and the UK... well, yes... there is a difference there which is this one: we do not wake up to news of a massacre in a random school by a random boy that for all accounst was a quiet one. And that is mostly because there are no guns on the high stree, every joe dick and harry do not have a gun in their drawer and there simple is no where to buy them.

Crime here is one on one. And it is terrifying, silent, with knives. Face to face.

Let me give you some background here. I am Portuguese. I have only lived here for 9 yeras. All my liofe was in Portugal, a small town there and, as I was teaching, even smaller villages. And there is this that I have noticed: everybody is involved in every one elses business. Society demands things of you, minds your business, whether it is the shape of your parents, your teachers, your parent's friends, your neightbours. You do not have space to be alone. Even depression is a different ball game there.

I guess that what it creats in you is accountability. To yourself and other.

I read a while ago, here in the Uk, that the most common motor deseases are those associated with avoidance of contact. People are so desperate to avoid contact with others that they have all these sorts of deseases like knee, elbow, neck and even eye repetitive motion stress. Check it out one of thewse days on public transport. You'll be surprised at what you see. Or maybe not. People are so desperate to avvoind contact with others that they do not now what to do with their angly body parts so as not to touch.

I think that is very telling: we are so detached from others that we simply forget to look at others- even the ones we do not know- as people that got here the same way we did, that are made of the same material that breathe the same air, that have their own sufferings and joys.

Yes, you are right. We are broken. Our capacity to establish connections is broken, we do not know how to reach out beyond the barrier of our own skin. And that has nothing to do with God or with guns. It is about accountability. There is none. To others or to ourselves While there is always a shrink waiting to excuse and absolve you, while there is aq blame laid at the feet of violent computer games or sports or films, we will never be accountsble. We will never hold ourselves accountable.

We find it diffcult to say "mea culpa". And it seems, that it is being made easier for us to hide behind the excuses more and more.
End quote.

Saturday, December 08, 2012

From 2008: Air America Head: Rush is..........RIGHT??


From 2008....

Conservative talk radio has worked itself into a tizzy lately over the rumored revival of the Fairness Doctrine -- the FCC policy that sought to enforce balanced discussion on the nation's airwaves.




As the founding president of Air America Radio, I believe that for the last eight years Rush Limbaugh and his ilk have been cheerleaders for everything wrong with our economic, foreign and domestic policies. But when it comes to the Fairness Doctrine, I couldn't agree with them more. The Fairness Doctrine is an anachronistic policy that, with the abundance of choices on radio today, is entirely unnecessary.



Instituted in 1949, the Fairness Doctrine obligated stations to "afford reasonable opportunity" for opposing views on topics of "public importance." At the time, most cities outside of New York, Chicago and Los Angeles had only a few stations. AM radio was in everyone's car and home, but there were just three or four stations per market. FM radio was still a quarter of a century away from commercial success.



Policy makers who introduced the Fairness Doctrine were worried that crafty special interests could overwhelm the airwaves with one-sided propaganda and tilt elections, sway public sentiment or foment civil unrest. Their fears were understandable. Joseph Goebbels effectively used radio in service of the Third Reich.



Contrary to what some people would have us believe today, the Fairness Doctrine was primarily an issue on TV, since radio didn't have much talk. Until the 1970s, AM stations had a steady diet of music with a couple of minutes of news at the top of the hour. But by 1978, music had migrated to FM, leaving AM in a programming lurch. The history of media is replete with new technologies stealing the content of the ones they supplant. Motion pictures killed vaudeville; radio was full of dramas and comedies before Jack Webb and Jack Benny switched to TV. As for AM radio, it was not until Rush found an audience on WABC in New York City in 1988 that the AM operators knew what to do with their once mighty stations.



The conventional wisdom is that Rush's success depended on the 1987 repeal of the Fairness Doctrine. Some say that if he had to make time for opposing opinions, Rush would have flopped. Personally, I think he is most entertaining when he is dismantling opposing arguments. He's successful because he is a superior entertainer.



Rush created the new AM template, and it spread like wildfire. When programmers and sales managers get a whiff of success, it is cloned in every conceivable way until the audience, once grateful for innovation, tunes out.



So why didn't liberal talk radio flourish as well? There are several reasons, none of which has to do with a lack of talent. Bill Maher, Al Franken, Stephanie Miller, David Bender, Janeane Garofalo, Jon Stewart and Rachel Maddow all have the chops.



First, boring hosts made the occasional, unsuccessful foray (sorry, Mario Cuomo). Second, some talented lefties like Mike Malloy were cast into the abyss of right-wing talk radio where they were completely out of place. (Radio is a mood servicing drug; format purity rules.)



Finally, most broadcast owners are conservative. Programs like Rush's have made them rich, so the last thing they want is to mess with success, particularly if it entails airing opinions they don't share. Trust me, it took us years to get them to play rock 'n' roll.



No one tried a national, 24-hour liberal station before Air America Radio. When we founded Air America, we aimed to establish a talk network that lived at the intersection of politics and entertainment. Of course, we were motivated by our political leanings. But as a lifelong broadcaster, I was certain that at least half the American audience was underserved by conservative talk radio. Here was an opportunity to capture listeners turned off by the likes of, say, Sean Hannity. The business opportunity was enticing.



It never occurred to me to argue for reimposing the Fairness Doctrine. Instead, I sought to capitalize on the other side of a market the right already had built.



When conservative talking heads wave a red flag about the possible revival of the Fairness Doctrine, they know it's a great way to play the victim and rally supporters. But I'll let Rush continue with his self-righteous indignation -- and if I want, I'll tune into Rachel Maddow, or one of the thousands of other voices that populate radio today.



Mr. Sinton was the founding president of Air America Radio.



http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122990390599425181.html#printMode





Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Watergate 40 years later....Why?


The Watergate Hotel and Office
Complex, Washington, DC


It's amazing that this was ever made, but here it is -- in six parts. "The Key to Watergate" (Barbara Newman's 1992 documentary) explores what was behind the Watergate burglary. In particular, why did the burglars have a key to a particular desk drawer at the DNC? The key -- and the reasons -- have been long suppressed.

The program is posted in order. Portions are out of sync, and we apologize.


Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Why Arsenio Hall Matters Now.

This morning I was watching the replay of the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. And as I was watching Jay's monolouge I was thinking back to the PBS special about Johnny Carson.

And I was thinking that as the years have gone on, how Johnny Carson matters now as he was so superior to any of the four men and one woman hosting late night television at this time. I was really going to type in something like "Jay could hold Carson's shoe lace, bla bla bla..."

Then...this happened.....


 

And when he came out....he almost did it.  The crank-up.

And for two seconds, it was 1992.  It was stage 29 at Paramout Studios.  It was the Night Thing and "Let's....get....bizzzy" all over again.

And the last line that got the biggest response.  That a network could hire a black man to host a late night talk show.  It should.  This man.

My case was made through four years of the most innovative, aware late-night programming. The Aresenio Hall Show was truly the first late night series that spoke to a generation that did not think all entertainment came from Vegas, Broadway, and the Borscht Belt.  While Carson had on Vic Damone, Aresenio hosted Tupac.  Carson would bring out Joe Namath, Arsenio hosted Magic. Carson would trade one-liners with Reagan, Aresenio all but created Bill Clinton.

And Hall had no problem put it all on the line to put on a guest no one else would put on....Louis Farakkan.



Not to mention, that Hall cared about people and the community.  On the night of the Los Angeles riots, Hall did a show like none other before or since (why that show is not available on You Tube or anywhere is is, IMHO, a sin and a shame).  Famous names and average folks from the community were in the house.  It was bare bones. But people wanted to be there to help Hall try to calm a community.

Afterward, Hall went to the First A. M. E. Church.  A KNBC crew was there and talk to Hall and Rev. Cecil Murray.  Here you get a bit of the heart of a man at a time when heart was needed.



And we are at that point now.  With almost every side of every point of society at war with each other, we need that heart before we go to bed.
Hall is 56. He would be younger than Leno or Letterman. He can still reach a younger audience than Leno or even Letterman. And if you are, say, Fox Broadcasting, Aresenio would definatly put you back in the late-night game.  If you're ABC, you'd probably think, you can get rid of two albertross' around your neck, Nightline and JKL.

The bottom line, the time is right, the man is hot, and boy...do we need him now.

Crank it up.  Let's get bizzy.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Bad Xian Btches

By now you know how much I HATE the American Family ASSociation.  If you have followed my blogs you know that my tracking of false prophets started when they successfully censored the NBC series Book of Daniel. Their goal is simple: if you or any part of the culture does not fit into their narrow, bigoted view ofthe world, you will be targeted until you are destroyed.

Their main weapon is financial blackmail.  Threaten advertisers with boycott until they remove their spots from the offending program. You know, the same strategy used to try to get Rush Limbaugh off radio.  And you know how THAT worked out.

You see evil only works when evil wields it.

Take the TV series GCB, the spoofy soap that poked gentle fun of Dallas' Righteous Flock.  Problem is that the AFA can't take a joke.  So they sent out their own good Xian bitches (Actually, the original title was to be Good Christian Bitches...I refuse to give these Tupelo bovines any connection with the actual "C" because...well, refer to Galatians 6:7. GCB mocks hypocrites, not Christ) to terrorize advertisers.

Again, it worked.

ABC dumps anti-Christian 'GCB' show after one season

Fleeing advertisers and low ratings doomed show from the start
May 14, 2012


Dear Donald,
ABC network has announced it is cancelling "GCB" and will not run it for a second season.
A Christian-bashing version of ABC's now defunct "Desperate Housewives," GCB centered on a recently divorced mother of two who moved back to the affluent neighborhood where she grew up to find herself in the whirling midst of gossip, Botox and fraud.
In later episodes, ABC didn't miss an opportunity to show its bigotry and hatred toward Christianity.

AFA led the efforts against GCB with an initial petition to ABC, asking it to not air the mockery. It was signed by 130,000 Action Alert supporters.
After the series began airing, AFA's OneMillionMoms.com ministry regularly contacted advertisers, who pulled advertising support from the show, resulting in lost revenue by the network.

Suffice it to say, the OneMillionCows....errrr Moms are effective (except when it comes to Ellen Degeneres.....but that's another story...).

Now lets talk about those ratings for a second.  According to Nielsen, GCB was averaging 7.4 million viewers per week. That was on par with Desperate Housewives and only slightly smaller than Once Upon a Time. But compare that 7.4 with the dismal 3.7 million the show that was in that spot Pan Am was getting, then it could not possibly be ratings.

The AFA/OMM blackmail campaign has worked again.  I wonder, though, if these heavenly hucksters will be as enthusiastic about ABC's replacement.  666 Park Avenue, basically where the rental agreement is truly a contract with the devil.

Yes. They replaced God with Satan on the ABC schedule.  And if the OneMillionMoms are not up in arms about this.....makes ya wonder who really IS controlling the AFA.

Oh...one other thing, if you want to help get GCB back on the schedule, go to www.savegcb.com. I'm not usually a fan of online petitions, but these people seem to have the right heart about it.  Mention the numbers we quoted and the OMM's blackmail campaign...and pass it around.  As of this blogging, they have nearly the 38,000 of the 100k signatures they're looking for.  Even Perez Hilton has come on board.

The Tupelo Twits love to "send a message" with their boycott threats.  It would be nice of, for once, they get the proper reply.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Back to The Future with Allen West.

Do you remember this.....?



We thought this could never happen again....right?

Allen West. a Republican Congressperson from the 18th district in Florida, recently was at a town meeting in Jensen Beach.  Someone asked and incredible question....and West gave an even more incredible answer.  Listen closely...



Are we back to witch hunts again?  Is this what the Republican Party is now down to?

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

What boycott??

The FlushRush campaign continues at full speed.  Powered mainly by MediaMatters of America, my fellow progressives are like Ruby on Once Upon a Time.  They're smelling blood, they're turning into wolves, and they're ready to pounce.

Their weapon? Basically blackmailing any sponsor they can find to get them to pull their ads from the Limbaugh program.  Someone said that the number is about 140.  That's literally more sponsors than commercials on that show.

But how successful IS the boycott?

Depends on whether or not you live in New York City.

Media Matters does say that a more reasonably sounding 52+ have bolted, and daily they post what they monitor from Rush's flagship, WABC/New York.

Now this blog is being written on Wednesday, March 14, 2012.  Here is the list of spots that ran on Rush's show this afternoon in the first two spot breaks:

Hour 1, commercial break 2

  • The Small Business Authority in association with the Corporate Tax Network
  • Imus in the Morning promo
  • New York City Correction Officers' Benevolent Association
  • John Batchelor Show promo
  • U.S. Army (BoostUp.org), and the Ad Council

Hour 1, commercial break 3

[WABC news break]
  • Mark Levin Show promo
  • American Council on Education and Lumina Foundation (KnowHowToGo.org), and the Ad Council
  • U.S. Army (BoostUp.org), and the Ad Council
  • Promo for Sean Hannity and Jason Mattera radio shows
Source: http://mediamatters.org/blog/201203050019

The sponsors in bold, by the way, are paid ads.

And it seems that business for Rush is pretty sparse in New York.

But in Los Angeles, a different story, maybe?

This morning I was able to catch the first two break inside of Limbaugh's show on his West Coast flagship, KFI/LA via the online IHeartRadio app.  What I heard during the breaks was a much different story.

Remember, the paid ads are in bold.

Hour 1, commercial break 2

  • Attorney Barack Lurie
  • Charter Cable
  • Cars4Causes
  • Amberin
  • An investment product (could not get the name)
Hour 1, commercial break 3

  • Dotavo DSL
  • Regenix
  • Mountain View Tire
  • New American Funding Mortgage
  • The Gold Guys
And on the 2nd break, they loaded up so many commericials, KFI actually rejoined Limbaugh a few moments late.

Also, by the way, the all-bolds on my list were not mistakes.  Everyone in those spot breaks PAID to be on.

Now I am not saying that Eric Bohlert was not hearing what he heard.  I'm just saying he heard it in New York.  Not just in Los Angeles. In the past week, I sampled KNZZ/Grand Junction, CO and KTRH/Houston. All running fully sponsored breaks during Rush.

Which begs to ask the question: If the boycott is not working in Los Angeles, the largest media market in America, if it' not working in smaller markets, if it's not working in conservative enclaves like Houston, ii it's not working in the flyover....in short, if the Limbaugh boycott is working ONLY in New York City and no where else....is it really working?

Well, is it?


Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Rush Limbaugh: Where I Stand...

This is a clarification on my views on the Rush Limbaugh controversy. I know my views have been contrary to many of my good friends on Twitter and Facebook. All I ask is that you understand where I am coming from.

First, I have NOT gone over to the dark side. I am the same Obama-loving, beyond liberal leftie I have always been and shall continue to be,

Second, what Rush Limbaugh said to Sandra Fluke crossed the line. It was appalling in its condescension. The apology that Limbaugh gave was weak and should have been placed on the air first.

However....

Six years ago, NBC aired a series called Book of Daniel. To make a long story short, A group called the American Family Association wanted the show cancelled simply because of its portrayal of people of faith. What they did was threaten companies that advertised on that show with a boycott if they didn’t pull their spots from the show. And though they swore up and down that they were not practising censorship, that’s exactly what they did: censorship by blackmail.

Look familiar?

Now eventually, Book of Daniel WAS cancelled, but because of bad ratings. But the AFA took the “credit,” and (if you have read my posts for the past six years you know) I have been fighting them ever since.

Now its us on the left who are censors.

Limbaugh has apologized to Fluke twice. Once on his website and again on his show. It may not have been the falling-on-your-sword type of apology, but he said he was sincere. Fluke, for her part, has rejected both apologies. That would be between the two of them.

This, though, has not calmed down the army of progressive Tweeters (at least in name) who have been calling for anyone who has run a spot on that show either intentionally or as a run-of-schedule spot that could be placed anywhere to pull those commercials from the show, in a mistaken notion that the sponsors support the show. In most cases, they are only supporting the station...this ain’t NPR.

Now here’s a partial list of sponsors who have headed for the exits: GEICO, AOL, ProFlowers, LegalZoom, Citrix, Select Comfort, and Quiken Loans. Now what do these fine companies have in common? They also sponsor PROGRESSIVE TALKERS like Randi Rhodes (who works for the same program distributor as Limbaugh), Stephanie Miller and Bill Press.

What that means is that all any CONSERVATIVE group can do is organize its own tweet campaign and pressure these same companies pull their spots from PROGRESSIVE hosts. And chances are they can pull it off.

So what we potentially have here is censorship via blackmail, with progressives and conservatives making like Tony Soprano to make sure their view is the only one available. Whether they realize it or not.

And it doesn’t stop there. Tasting blood, the StopRush contingent is now going after stations to pull Limbaugh’s show. Two already have as of this writing. However, one is in Hilo, HI...and the other is in a market in the East so small it can’t be found on a Hubble telescope.

Meanwhile, KFI in Los Angeles, WLS in Chicago, WABC in New York, and 500+ stations nationwide are still on the EIB Network.

I have tried to want to join the StopRush movement. The man is boorish, a pain in the ass, insulting, and...though I don’t believe he is racist...highly racially and sexually insenitive and ignorant. So are the TWENTY MILLION listeners he has every week. TWENTY MILLION.

But what stops me is the principle. Censorship is wrong. It is always wrong, even for what we think are the wrong reasons. Fluke does have the option to sue for slander and libel, and she may have a case. But censorship by any means is not and never is the answer.

I could go on, but there is one person who, as he usually does, succinctly sums it all up in 140 characters or less:

“Hate to defend #RushLimbaugh but he apologized, liberals looking bad not accepting. Also hate intimidation by sponsor pullout”-Bill Maher on Twitter

Finally, a personal note. I have developed many friends on Twitter. And some people actually have notice what I say, for which I am extremly greatful. I understand the passion. But my belief that the free exchange of ideas, even ideas I find abhorrent, such as Limbaugh’s statements to Ms. Fluke, is what sets this country apart from the others. On this one issue, I respectfully disagree. I hope this does not affect any friendships, and I know we will be on the same side again soon.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Ann Romney Drives TWO Cadillacs. And your point...?

Conservatives and Liberals, in their unending zeal to find the biggest gotcha, usually overlook the REAL story. So the true injustice is overlooked, but they succeed in making their target look silly, which is all they care about anyway.
Take Mitt Romney.

On Thursday, Mitt was doing what all politicians have done from George  Washington to Barack Obama....suck up to the locals.  In this case the locals were in the hard luck state of Michigan, home to a failing auto industry and one of the worst NFL teams ever (OK...GM, Ford, and Chrysler are on the comeback trail, and so are the Lions.....but I digress). In his introduction to the party faithful, Mitt puckered up, extended tongue, and said....


Ok, Mitt's no Ronnie Reagan...few are, but you get the point.

And to many, what it meant was a chance to strike up the "Rich-Republicans-Out-Of-Touch-With-The-99-Percent" meme.  My friend, Karoli for example....


It might be just a tiny bit out of touch to be in a city hit hardest by the recession, one where the candidate was perfectly at peace with allowing the United States auto industry to die a harsh death in 2008, and declare to the audience that Ann Romney drives not one, but two Cadillacs, with a starting price of around $47,000 or so. http://gocl.me/yZfmBF


First, Mitt's Stepford Wife DOES tool around in a couple of Caddys: Both SRX SUV's...a 2007 and a 2010 (http://www.nationaljournal.com/2012-presidential-campaign/romney-touts-his-economic-plan-wife-s-cadillacs-20120224). The MSRP of an SRX in '07 was $37225.  The '10 actually went down in price to $33830. Both according to autobuytel.com.

But since the 1% supposedly drives Caddies, and the 99% drives Chevys....and since anyone with a brain knows that a Caddy is just a Chevy with nicer trim...let's look at both the current SRX and its twin brother, the Chevy Equinox.

According to both cars websites, the SRX with FWD and standard trim starts at $35,485. The Equinox LTZ AWD  starts at $31,780. Here's the weird part, though.  When you throw in all the options, the Chevy costs MORE than the caddy: $39,625 for the Equinox LTZ, $36.720 for the SRX. Don't believe me? Go to www.chevrolet.com and www.cadillac.com and play with pricing yourself.

Now granted, if you wedn Performance or Premium trim, you would get closer to Karoli's $44K figure, but that's not the point...the real question...since when did ANY comparable Cadillac cost LESS than and average Chevy?? SINCE WHEN???

BUT IT'S STILL A CADILLAAAAAAAAAAAC!!!

BFD.

Let's face facts, Cadillac has not been an elite car nameplate since, say, 1997.  Remember, Catera...the caddy that zigs?  It Zigged when it should have zagged. And Cadillac has been trying to come back ever since.  If Anne Romney drives to Caddies, it's probably out of loyalty to GM, if for no other reason.

Or in other words....there's so much stuff we CAN pin on Mittens, that what his wife drives seems kinda lame.

Oh....one other thing...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tp6kOfMEuiM&t=33s

So let me get this straight.  George Romney used to run American Motors.  AMC was purchased years ago by Chrysler who makes Dodge trucks.  You mean to tell me that the son of the man who ran the company you now own...who may very well be the next President of the United States....no longer uses your product?

Sergio Marchionne, your company owns Fiat.  Fiat now owns Chrysler.  Seems you've got a lot of work to do.  A lot.

Just sayin'.

Thursday, February 09, 2012

Clarification (in other words, I surrender....)

There is a belief that because of certian posts I do from time to time, that I am crying out before I do 'something rash.'  if you are thinking ending my own life, that would be impossible, if only for the simple reason I am too much of a coward.

But what I am dealing with no pill, motivational saying, or realignment of planets can solve.  The fact that I do not belong here.

It is a fact (not opinion, fact) that I have dealt with for most of my adult life.  I have not sellable talents.  I cannot be take seriously by the masses, so sales are out (I'm not Sammy Slickhair either).  Any talents I do have are not not bankable ones.

I can't lie well.  I'm not good at small talk.  I don't like long walks and I don't want a pet. So relationships are out.

I hate wars.  Not just the ones with guns and tanks.  I'm talking about the wars we fight between us. The constant rich-poor-middle, black-white-whatever, gay-straight-bi-trans, Christian-Muslim-Jew-whatever wars we have fought almost since the dawn of time and that have gotten worse in the last 16 months.  So I can't be a conservative and I'm making a lousy liberal.

Even in faith, I can't get the answers I seek.  Like what happnens after the end.  I'm not talking about THAT.....or even THAT. I'm talking about what happens after THAT. No one knows.

So in essence, I am empty.  I have fought these battles until I have been spent.  I have lost my home, my livelihoods, my family, probably friends, all because I see truths that no one can see, and I ask questions that no one can answer.  And with seven to twenty years left, i can't fight it any more.

I surrender.

I can't fight the tide anymore.  The stupids have won.  I have lost.  What more can i say.

So I will probably spend the remainder of my time, if I can, being the best worker ant I can be for whoever wants me.  Hopes, dreams, goals...they never exisited anyway. Neither does love.  I'm done fighting that war as well.

Maybe God will place me in someplace where I can do no harm, where I can live out my life harmlessly and without controversy.  And maybe I will be allowed to see the thing I have said come to pass.  And maybe, when I do go, I'll simply fall asleep.  Maybe that's the best.

Until then, I will not force any hand.  i'll just be like the rest, unquestioning, unreasoning, save for the occasional post i might slip in.

And to those friends who are still with me, who are concerned, I am otherwise fine.  I'm just giving up the wars and letting the world do what it will do.

For in the end, there truly is a reason for living.  It's called the next day.

Saturday, February 04, 2012

Ben Gazzara on the Dick Cavett Show (with Cassavettes and Falk)

As you know, the actor Ben Gazzara died yesterday at 81.  My main remberence of him was as an intense actor doing a series for NBC called Run For Your Life, their answer to ABC's The Fugitive.

Between that was Anatomy of a Murder before and Husbands after. Husbands, a collaboration with close friends John Cassevettes and Peter Falk, was a breakthtough drama that, in 1970, ushered in the beginnings of American independent film.

In that year, to promote Husbands, Gazzara, Cassavettes, and Falk appeared as the sole guests on ABC's The Dick Cavett Show.  This 45-minute edition was timed such because of Monday Night Football.  The end result is the raucous, out-of-control show we present below in its entirety. I think it gives you the essence of who Gazzara and his fellows truly were.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Light at the end of the tunnel...

It has been quite the 24 hours...two calls from temp agencies, and another two today.  I am a happy camper...so far.

First, let me douse a bit of cold water water on me and you.  These are interviews.  I do not have a job as of yet.  They will probably test me on my deteriorating skills and I would be put on call.  But after 14 months of nothing, this is the closest to something I have been through in awhile.

But because of bills (automatic billing sucks sometimes) I'm going to try to live on $5.00 in two days.  If I can get through the next 14 days, i might be able to climb out of the tunnel.

To all who have helped me, thank you so much.  You do not know how much you were able to help me survive this hell.  It looks like it is coming to a close, and I want to do something to thank you.  I just don't know what it will be just  yet...maybe just meeting at a Starbucks.

For those who want to, I will still need help to get through.  You can simply go to the cookie jar at the right of this blog page, or if you are reading this somewhere else, just PayPal to donald.paschal@yahoo.com. End of donation speech.

Again, I do not know what this will bring, but I made a promise to myself that I would not end up on a pile, a walking cadaver defeated.  It's why I would rather spend time with you than my "contemporaries," because you offer hope.

Hope in terms of my business (Thanks Holly).  Hope in terms of my soul (Thank Tracy and Rio).  Hope in terms of my sprirt (thanks to so many).  Hope in terms of friendship (Thanks Holly, Donna, Tiff, Mike, Tamara, Teri, Rio again, and so so many more.)

And if you allow me a bit of Tebowing, thank you God, for all the people I have mentioned, and many more that I could not, you've placed in my path for a reason.  Many of them were  not your shining lights of virtue.  But they were true and honest and real.  And at the time, they were the people I needed most.  Some were libertines. Some were saintly.  Some even fictional (hi Mayor Mills). But they all had one thing in common...all were parts of me and as a whole they kept me alive so far.

So...here we go.  Wish me luck.  Maybe this time I can win one.