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Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Rockin' the 419

O h looky what I got in the mail today....

Dear Beloved,

Beloved? The last person who used that line was Oprah for a movie..which bombed...

I am Cynthia **** from Ghana. I am the only surviving Daughter of Late Dr and Mrs Clement **** ,my late father was the General Inspector of Finances for over Six years before his death. My Father was assassinated by his brothers just because of his properties

They have teabaggers in Ghana?

My late Father deposited the sum of $7.5 Million (seven Million Five Hundred Thousand Dollars) [HOLY SH!T] with a bank here in Ghana.

A bank in Ghana. Let's see, what bank was it? Bank of Ghana? First National Bank? The Bank Formerly Known As GMAC? Or are you talking about that piggy bank on your kitchen table?

Recently,my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the stroke and cancerous problems I am suffering from. are you able to type this message. If you ARE at death's door, ma'am, you are probably having troubles with even using the keyboard, let alone teh energy to write a coherent message. Still, I can help: Forest Lawn is having a special if you die by Saturday; free Dish Network for the crypt.

I have decided to donate this fund to you and want you to use this gift which comes from my late fathers effort to fund the upkeep of widows and charities worldwide....

The widows are going to feel jacked. And are those the same charities that Frankenjamie McCourt keep their money in (to keep it from being taken by that mean old Mr. Selig?)

...i have suffered a lot and no one from my fathers family care for me there all want me to die because of my late Fathers properties,

Maybe it's because your giving $7.5 million dollars to a borderline homeless person who really needs the money to eat.

I took this decision because I don't have any direct brother or sister that will inherit this money and my fathers relations are bourgeois and very wealthy persons and I do not want my late fathers hard earned money to be misused.

Maybe this is why Casey did it...she sees this coming....

Please, consider this and get back to me as soon as possible.

Your Faithfully
Cynthia ****

Dear Cynthia,

I have considered it and I have decided that, since your dying and all, it would not be right for me to take your money. Besides, since I do believe in miracles, you may very well recover, then there are all those medical bills.

However, I would refer any further coomunications or money to my council...Nancy Grace, HLM, Atlanta.

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